F*cking squirrels in the house again -- The "I Hate Rodents" Thread

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 01/06/2016 at 11:19 • Filed to: None

0

29

I’m no noob when it comes to rodent control. Our last house had rats that loved to take shelter in the basement, including the overhead joists under the main floor (we just loved the sound of gnawing at night!). It was like a rat retirement home — they never came there to eat or to nest...only to die. I must have cleaned a dozen half-rotten corpses out of the insulation in the span of 3-4 years. The worst ones were those who appeared to be alive and still breathing...but it was only the movement of the maggots inside its chest cavity.

This is the reality of rodents in your house.

Fast forward 5 years and we have a whole new house in a sort of “wild” part of town, up on a mountain plateau with lots of streams and old growth forests around. There was a time when I used to think to myself “Self, YOU are the one invading their territory!” but between property destruction, viruses, and sheer exhaustion over the years, I have developed a zero-tolerance policy on rodents in my home and its immediate perimeter. We fixed an early entry point with metal mesh, which has worked great in that spot for years. I sometimes use my .177 air rifle if possible, but have only scored a few that way — with neighbors all around, finding a good shot and making a clean kill is hard to do. Normally, I use a combination of live traps (where the kids play) and snap traps (out of reach). Either way, they are going to die because I put the live traps inside a garbage bag and gas them with starter fluid. About 10 seconds of consciousness and about 30 seconds of life.

If you’re still reading and are now angry with me for this, please note that this advice comes from a neighbor, a retired anesthesiologist, who uses the ether in starter fluid to humanely kill all sorts of trapped pests. It’s actually far better than snap traps, which often grab a limb or a tail, resulting in a slow and painful death by dehydration or predator.

So let’s move forward.

Now that the nighttime temps went from 60 to 25 almost overnight, every morning I hear squirrels milling around between the first and second floor. I have also recently caught a rat on the back porch and found rat crap in my garage storage room (hopefully it was the same, solitary offender). Chipmunks virtually own the perimeter of my house. The population of hawks, snakes, and cats has dwindled, but the rodents are still out in force.

“Professionals” in this space are usually pretty sketchy/pricey from my experience, but I’m having my trusty and reliable roofing guy come out and look for intrusions this weekend.

So opponauts, I’d love to hear advice on spray repellents, good traps, poisons, plastic owls, or just general commiserations and anecdotes.

For Sweden > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:22

3

Get a cat?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:24

3

Take some of the ether’ed ones, prepare them outside on the grill, and eat them, all the while looking meaningfully at any squirrels or chipmunks in sight. Terror will be your watchword.

Wacko > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:25

0

get a bucket and water.

I got 2 mice at once in my garage with a similar setup

d15b > For Sweden 01/06/2016 at 11:26

0

Aye, get a cat.

d15b > d15b 01/06/2016 at 11:26

0

And reward that fucker when it gets with the program.

TheHondaBro > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:27

1

Get a corn snake. Any rodent you find, just feed it to your new corn snake.

Hoccy > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:28

0

Close any small gaps and holes where they can get in. Building foam usually works. Obviously an advantage to remove any animals present before shutting the door.

Shane MacGowan's Teeth > Wacko 01/06/2016 at 11:28

3

Upgrade that, squirrels can get out of a 5 gallon. Black trash can- fill halfway with water, and pie plate with nuts floating on it. My grandma used that for her yearly squirrel pogroms- as a lifelong hunter, I still shudder at the body count.

Azrek > For Sweden 01/06/2016 at 11:28

0

Get 2 cats

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:29

1

Fritos make good rat trap bait. Glue it on with peanut butter.

But what’s more important is to screw the rat trap down to something a bit heavier, so the trap doesn’t move when it springs. 6” x 8” by 3/4” plywood works nicely.

JeepJeremy > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:29

0

Your dad said he isn’t going to call the exterminator. This time it’s personal!

itschrome > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:37

1

FACT: all dead Nazi’s return as squirrels

FACT: The more hate filled a squirrels soul, the fluffier their tails

FACT: squirrels and Mormons both have the doctrain of dooms day preparations. Which is why they are always burying their nuts. How ever unlike the Mormons, they are also planning a series of events to bring down Humanity and usher in a new squirrel order. A 4th reich!

FACT: Squirrels mock you and judge you constantly

FACT: squirrels taught the CIA how to coock crack and ordered them to introduce it to the inner cities of America in the 80’s and have returned to their NAZI roots with the current meth epidemic.

FACT: Squirrels think the Prius is a damn fine car.

FACT: when squirrels run out into the road in front of you they ARE trying to trick you into killing your self.

FACT: Squirrels are the ones who spread all those rumors about you in middle school. You dirty Bed wetter...

FACT: Squirrels are Donald Trumps number one campaign donor.

FACT: Squirrels are a majority share holder in Monsanto, American Cyanamid Co, Pfizer, Bayer (Obvuiously), Rio Tinto mining corp, Siemens, Wal-Mart, James Hardie and Chiquita!

FACT: Squirrels are behind the JFK assassination.

FACT: a squirrel caused the Apollo 13 disaster

FACT: osama bin laden was really 30 squirrels in a man suite

FACT: 9/11 was an inside job, a inside squirrel JOB!

FACT: Squirrels can melt steel just by wishing for it.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 11:40

0

I got a dog

And a trap with peanut butter to deal with them. I also had any gaps in my houses siding covered up. It was a costly ordeal but I’ve had 4 of these annoying shits in my house as well as the bastardly flying variety.

Ash78, voting early and often > For Sweden 01/06/2016 at 12:02

0

This is the wife’s top choice right now. I’m also a cat fan. But it would have to be a full-time outdoor cat because half the family is allergic. I guess as long as we keep feeding it, it will stick around...

Ash78, voting early and often > itschrome 01/06/2016 at 12:03

0

Oppo COTD!

BigBlock440 > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 12:04

0

A 7mm Mag makes short work of a squirrel. I don’t think it had any effect on the overall population or made any of them think twice, but it sure made me feel better.

Ash78, voting early and often > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/06/2016 at 12:04

0

Good call on the platform, I did that once but got lazy the last couple times.

My current concoction is a birdseed mix blended with peanut butter. I’m going to try the Fritos — at least in the areas where they won’t break down in the rain.

Ash78, voting early and often > Hoccy 01/06/2016 at 12:05

0

Obvious, but easier said than done in a 2-story house with a mansard roof, dormers, adjacent garage, etc (ie, lots of potential gaps I can’t see). Hopefully my roofer will find something obvious.

Ash78, voting early and often > Wacko 01/06/2016 at 12:07

0

My mom did that with chipmunks at their old house. I’m a little too “weak” to drown them outright, but I’m coming around.

Last year, she accidentally left the trap on the front porch when they were showing the house for sale. The agent notes said “please remove 4 dead chipmunks from bucket, scared potential buyers”

LOL

For Sweden > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 12:07

0

Half the family need to build character

Ash78, voting early and often > Shane MacGowan's Teeth 01/06/2016 at 12:07

0

I think I’m on board with this.

uofime-2 > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 12:15

0

As long as you don’t have coyotes or foxes it should be fine

Ash78, voting early and often > uofime-2 01/06/2016 at 12:22

0

Our area has some displaced coyotes, but they’re very rare. We do have native foxes around, but they’re so domesticated, they actually play with neighborhood dogs. It’s actually really cute — they’re still wild, just tame.

Either way, we just had 300’ of privacy fence put in the backyard, so the cat should be fine. Anything bigger would have a hard time getting in.

uofime-2 > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 14:42

0

Your best bet is to find one that had a mother who was a proficient hunter and was given adequate time to learn. We had many barn cats when I was growing up and I can tell you that they are not all created equal! Girls usually seemed better than boys, just make sure you get it fixed.

PilotMan > For Sweden 01/06/2016 at 18:14

0

A cat would take care of the problem but after a while you’ll notice that all the song birds have disappeared along with every small creature in your neighborhood. The foxes will go hungry, the coyotes will have to result to eating the ridiculous small dogs in your neighborhood and then your cat.

Cats are best kept inside, where they can’t devastate your local environment.

I suggest you see what you can do to make your neighborhood more raptor friendly. Owls & hawks, combined with foxes are awesome at keeping a local rodent population in check.

Do not poison rodents, you really don’t want to kill the predators that eat them!

For Sweden > PilotMan 01/06/2016 at 18:16

1

Cats > Fox

Team Cat

Down with foxes

PilotMan > For Sweden 01/06/2016 at 18:21

0

Cats eat birds, birds eat lots of bugs, bugs eat your trees and your log home. Without birds eating the bugs, spiders propagate and multiply. Thanks to your cat, you end up with a yard full of bugs, spiders, and flower beds full of cat shit.

Cats are great inside but not outside.

Hawks and Owls are better than cats. Foxes are fun neighborhood dogs!

For Sweden > PilotMan 01/06/2016 at 18:22

1

Birds crap on my car

ban birds

Chariotoflove > Ash78, voting early and often 01/22/2016 at 12:51

1

Late to this thread, but I endorse getting a cat. We got ours by accident (long story), and she lives in the garage because of asthma and allergies (I just put in a cat door, and she comes and goes as she pleases). We put out food for her, but she barely touches it most days. I think she mostly “eats out”, if you know what I mean. Sometimes she brings the leftovers home, and we have to clean feathers, etc. out of the garage, but mostly it’s a win-win.